Said once an old spanker named Bruno
hairbrush, paddle and cane these I do know
of rosewood so fine
of maple divine
but of Lexan they are numero uno
***

A nude wooed a prude in Bermuda
the prude, she was shrewd, but the nude, he was shrewder
said the nude to the prude: it is lewd,
but not rude, to be wooed in the nude
so he wooed her, pursued her and verbed her
***

There was a young man from Lake Placid
whose noun was lethargic and flaccid
when he wanted to sport
he would have to resort
to injections of sulfuric acid
***

There once was a man from Lake Major

who, as a result of a wager,
consented to fart
the entire oboe part
of Mozart's Quintet in F-major

***

There was a young man into vices
whose nouns were of different sizes
one was so small
it was nothing at all
but the other was large and won prizes
***

A girl on a boat from Dundee
complained that it hurt her to verb
said a rueful first mate:
that accounts for the state
of the cook and the captain and me
***

The preceding limericks (except for the first one) came from a thin booklet titled "Forbidden Limericks" which sold quite well in the "beatnik" North Beach area of San Francisco in the very early 60's. All the naughty bits were replaced by the appropriate form of the words "noun" or "verb". There were many more and I will keep adding them as I remember them or if I manage to find the darned thing again. What if we were to recycle the term "beatnik" to apply to "spankheads"... just a thought.

Caution: BAWDY limerick coming up:
***
There once was a lady named Alice
who tried a Plutonium phallus
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
they found her asshole in Dallas
***